Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I know it sounds like something out of a movie... but haven't you ever felt like that?? Like leaving everything behind to explore this world while you explore yourself? Or to stop chasing your dreams the safe way and take a risk?
I KNOW WE DID. We were over it... the monotony of life. We are 21, feeling 41. We wanted to do something that they people would look at and say, "that's stupid". I know it sounds crazy but we wanted to be "young and dumb" for once. We felt like our options were, work jobs and be no where near realizing our dreams, and struggle....or..... struggle doing what we love.
But, like I said I was freaking out. Silently, at first. We gave ourselves two weeks before the big move. Plenty of time for my mind to throw me in plenty of directions and convince myself to stick to our original plan.
Needless to say, we came to our senses, but we know somethings gotta give. Leaving now would mean breaking our lease and destroying our credit. It would also mean making a home in our car, that's if our car would even survive the trip. It would mean struggling unnecessarily.
Don't get me wrong... we arnt afraid of struggle. We know that making your dreams come true comes with a price. But that doesn't mean all good sense goes out the window. Although it did for a split second, so we let it back in through the door.
We remain unsatisfied. We are 100% not complacent. We want to walk in our purpose and we are willing to sacrifice what we must. But we also want to be on God's timing, not our own. And we also want to be directed and moved by God, not our emotions.
Lets just say we wont be in Columbus, Ohio much longer.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
You heard right ladies and gents- ya girl is 21 years old as of August 24th! Feels good I must say. My birthday was spent with just and my baby. We slept in, went to the beach, stuffed our faces at waffle house... the day was perfect :)
So far I have not become the lush that I imagined- due largely to the fact that Im usually broke... although I did get drunk with my husbands family- it was awsome- but thats another story for another time ;)
In other news I FINALLY got a job. I started at Rag-O-Rama on monday! So far I loves it ;) Hopefully I stick with it till I bust up out of Ohio
ALSO, on my first day I met a lady that recognised me from mane & chic!! She said I inspired her big chop- I thought that was pretty dope! Im really bad with names- but you were one hot mama, I do remember that! lol Sooo if you're reading this I just wanted to give YOU a shout out! - so there you go :)
ummm what else is dere??
OH YEAH- I met with that agent from S2 Wilhelmina. The meeting went great. But Im still not sure what I want to do. HUGE GROWN- UP DECISION ALERT. brain crashing... crashing...crashing....gone.
Unfortunately Chicago got postponed for a of couple weeks and for couple of reasons. For one, mother nature sent me my monthly gift. So we arnt speaking. And for two, I didnt like the way the trip was organized- to where the there was a possibility of me missing one of my open calls. Not cool. So we are planning it better and Im going to get off the rag and we are gonna go in two weeks... I've waited this long, whats two weeks.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
OK, a few updates:
The job search continues... I havnt found anything yet but I continue to search.
My husband and I are planning a trip to Chicago so I can meet with Ford and Elite Modeling Agencies. I am extremely excited about that... it will be my favorite birthday present :)
I will be 21 August 24th. A nice way to start another year of life.
Also I met a lady from one of Wilhelmina's affiliate agencies, called S2Wilhelmina.... they just happen to be based here in Columbus, who knew?? Heres a link to the agencies site in case you live under a rock and have no idea what Im talking about >>http://www.wilhelmina.com/ The lady was very nice, gave me her card and told me to give her a call. I'll probably call her tomorrow morning and set something up. Also very exciting, I havnt been in front of an agent since I was 15 and I had my mommy with me... of course we were being scammed and lost a crap ton of money... but hey. Lesson learned. If I talked to this lady and she's asking for a mula, I know to say a polite "no thank you" and find to the nearest exit :)
In other news... I am more than half way throught the bible!! Crazy right?? I found this podcast called, Daily Audio Bible (here's a link http://www.dailyaudiobible.com/) It's amazing. I starting following along in January and Im already halfway through the bible...and I must say it's a great book. It will change your life if you let it. The bible used to send a "nap time" signal to my brain, which is why I can't believe that by the end of this year I will have read the whole thing cover to cover. Thats good stuff.
Also, I will be introducing you all to Seth here pretty soon. He is the next charcter in the childrens book I am working on. You might remember Jondi. She's the main charcter in the series. I introduced her to you guys back in June. Well, Seth is her bestfriend. He's all drawn out, I just have to finish painting him. When he's done I'll show you guys. I love him already :)
Oh yeah, I had a photo shoot at a fair on friday. Yup, right there in front of everybody. Picture me in a little tiny bandage dress, huge hair, and 4" fringe boots walking around the fair with a photographer and our assistant! LOL People thought I was famous! They were all taking pics with their camera phones and asking for my autograph! I got soo weirded out! It was like I was on an America's Next Top Model challenge or something! I had to play the games and ride the rides while still posing and trying to look "candid" all the while everybody is stopping and staring and shouting things! LOL It was super awkward at first, but then I stopped caring and I got into it and ended up having a lot of fun. The shots look amazing! They arnt edited or anything yet but heres a sneak peek...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
This is how it’s been since we no longer have a dependable car to get me out to my job, that’s 30 minutes away from our place. My husband's job isn’t too far, so sometimes he pushes our olds mobile (she's gonna die any minute) or he just carpools with a friend. My only job now is modeling for Bustown Modern and being wifey. It’s so strange. I am left with so much free time and I spend most of it alone, with no car and very little money, if any. The reason I don’t just get a job near our place in the mean time, is because we kept thinking our car will be fixed any minute now and I can just go back to Abercrombie Home Office....well...we thought that all up until yesterday when we found out the engine was shot....Bad news. Plan screwed.
Actually, our summer is not going at all how we planned it. I never thought... I would find myself in this little cage of an apartment day after day. The thing is, I am naturally somewhat of a loner. I don’t mind being by myself, at times, I actually prefer it. It’s the Virgo in me. I simply enjoy myself. I enjoy writing by myself, and painting by myself, and thinking by myself. But I have had an overload of alone time this summer. I've found myself uninspired to do most anything. Paint, write, sketch, nothing. My outlook became so negative. I just felt like I was locked up in my cage until John came home to give me some air. Sitting home, while he works 40 hours a week, had me feeling like a bum. A negative, uninspired, bum. Each day that passed I felt completely unproductive and super depressed. I kept thinking, I could have had the rough draft of my children’s book done by now with all this time on my hands. But nope, nothing. The only thing I can say is I have been on my A-game when it comes to modeling. That’s been my main motivating force. Knowing that soon, we won’t be here. That’s its only a matter of time, before we get it together and we are watching our dreams come true. We are struggling, yes, but our dreams are still so tangible. I still feel that we are closer than we even realize. We are struggling, so we are strengthened when our lives make that drastic turn.
This is why I thank God for the man He gave me. Because he has the ability to see through me. My husband knows my heart. He can pray for me, he can hold me; he can be strong for me. But all in the same breath he can call me out! He tells me the straight up truth, even when I don’t want to hear it. We were talking on the phone and he said, "Stop being so negative, and STOP complaining....you really just need to stop, you have a great life."
I was in the middle of pity party so that hit kinda hard... I got real silent... and ended the conversation so I could get off the phone. I wanted to continue my pity party alone, since obviously he would be of no assistance. He was intent on breaking it up. So I tried. I tried to sit there and sulk. I thought about how I miss my car, and my job. I thought about how I hate the bus, and all the men on the bus that insist on evading my personal space (yes, it happens a lot). I thought about how lonely I was and how I missed my best friends and my family. I thought about our plans to save money, so we would be able to move to Chicago, and how off track everything was. I loaded my mind with every bad thing that was going on until all I wanted to do was go to sleep so I would stop thinking. But I couldn't get John's voice out of my head!!
Damn. He was right. Again. So check this out... let’s go down the list of positives in my life...
1. God...enough said.
2. John Marshall Collins... he loves me. Real talk.
3. My family... we are close, only phones call away.
4. Food... I eat very well :)
5. A roof, and a bed
...this list could go on forever. Moral of the story: Whatever my situation looks like I will choose to be positive and grateful to be alive. I’m looking at this time as a blessing. A great opportunity to continue building my modeling portfolio, and a working on my book. I’m also learning to wait on God and have patience. And to live each day intentionally.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Lucky 5 rockin out on stage at Peabody's
i love the passion in his voice... they make love to their instruments