planning our escape

These past couple of days have had me on such a roller coaster ride of emotions. Up until this morning my husband and I were planning our escape. Our plan was to quit our jobs, break our lease and leave in the night with out a word. Selling most of what we own, leaving everything and everyone behind to start over and hopefully find ourselves closer to our dreams. John had already put in his two weeks notice at his job- so the plan was very much in motion and I found myself freaking out.

I know it sounds like something out of a movie... but haven't you ever felt like that?? Like leaving everything behind to explore this world while you explore yourself? Or to stop chasing your dreams the safe way and take a risk?

I KNOW WE DID. We were over it... the monotony of life. We are 21, feeling 41. We wanted to do something that they people would look at and say, "that's stupid". I know it sounds crazy but we wanted to be "young and dumb" for once. We felt like our options were, work jobs and be no where near realizing our dreams, and struggle....or..... struggle doing what we love.

But, like I said I was freaking out. Silently, at first. We gave ourselves two weeks before the big move. Plenty of time for my mind to throw me in plenty of directions and convince myself to stick to our original plan.

Needless to say, we came to our senses, but we know somethings gotta give. Leaving now would mean breaking our lease and destroying our credit. It would also mean making a home in our car, that's if our car would even survive the trip. It would mean struggling unnecessarily.

Don't get me wrong... we arnt afraid of struggle. We know that making your dreams come true comes with a price. But that doesn't mean all good sense goes out the window. Although it did for a split second, so we let it back in through the door.

At the end of the day the overwhelming feelings of being unsatisfied and desperate forced us to look at our lives in a completely different way. We realized how thankful we were for our lives together and allll the things God has blessed us with. God has given us a huge assignment for our lives and he has given us gifts and talents to assist in completing what he has called us to do in this world. Therefore we have to realize our purpose and let it drive our lives and everything we do.

We remain unsatisfied. We are 100% not complacent. We want to walk in our purpose and we are willing to sacrifice what we must. But we also want to be on God's timing, not our own. And we also want to be directed and moved by God, not our emotions.

Lets just say we wont be in Columbus, Ohio much longer.