Sunday, January 29, 2017

water for my dream seeds

I so desperately wish this blog was a space where i could just brag about how awesome my life is. All you'd see is stunning photography from moments in my beautiful life. I'd document all the perfect moments with my children, my impeccable fashion choices, and all the delicious home cooked meals i make for my family.

I'd be sure to leave out the heated arguments and temper tantrums. I'd spare you the gory details of my separation, depression, and malfunction. I wouldn't dare bring up the fact that I have moments where I'd much rather not greet this world. And would conveniently forget to mention the countless times I've found myself on my knees, crawling, searching for some peace, or hiding place, or a blunt and a brew.

Yeah, no.

Just pretty pictures, and easy to digest content
>insert awkward smile<

I said all that to say, I do have beautiful moments with my children, and I have to pat myself on the back for a lot of my photo worthy fashion choices- and every once in a blue moon I cook something that I didn't get in the frozen food aisle. But perfection don't live here in this home and she never did.

I tried to invite her, but apparently she doesn't exist.

Sorry, I'm not sorry for the dark poetry- and the soap opera/ jerry springer scenarios you've read about over the years.

This is my little corner of the internet where I get to say what ever the fuck I want. Where I can be honest and real. I know my words won't resonate with everyone- and for some it'll be exactly what they need to hear. Either way, I'm good. I don't care about my run on sentences and grammatical errors. This blog is for me first -it's my free therapy.

I hope to one day compile it all into a memoir… what with all the ups and downs, plot twist, and complex characters.

I'm also hoping for a good ending. Im hoping all the tears I've cried (and still cry) serve as water for my dream seeds.

I hope I make it out of every storm stronger, and I can look back in the archives of this blog and see how far I've come.

I hope to get back to documenting this journey.
As usual I have much to update you guys on.

January 31st is almost here...