Tuesday, March 15, 2011

january 31st: part three

I could literally hear him breaking inside.
... the way he sobbed broke the remnants of heart I had left.

I broke.
he broke.
the mess we made was staring us in the face.

I let everything out.
I told on my new friend
I told him what she had done to me
how she wouldn't let me eat
how sick she was making me.
how she was breaking me down to nothing.

He saw me. He saw clearer than anyone had ever seen me.
I knew how ugly the picture must've been .
so I prepared myself for our visit to end soon

... until I heard the next words out of his mouth.

"I love you"

he wasn't done.

"I'll love this baby, because its coming from you."
he begged to be be apart of my life. I could see in his eyes how much he meant it.
and then he touched my belly...

"I love him already... this blessing"
It was almost as if my mistakes made it easier to see past his...
and that was the moment I let out the last tear of sadness for the night...
joy was my new reason for tears.

He kissed my tears. He held me. He rocked me. I didn't want this moment to ever end because my pain was paused for the first time in a long time.

even in this big mess we made for ourselves
he was still mine
I was still his
and I could breath.
and I could smile.

all the mistakes stopped staring at us for that moment, only love was there.

we got it back.
we got it all back.

journey to healing...

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