leave you be

bear my soul.

nope.
fuck that.

okay fine, look.

see?

it's equally ugly as it it is beautiful.
so don't stare too hard.

where's my invisible cloak when I need it…

I'll hide from your hard gaze,
piercing my soul.

Equally uneasy, as I am comfortable.
Equally scared, as I am fearless.

I'm going to remind you why you fell in Love with me,
when I walk away.

For all the times you feel out of Love with yourself
For all the times you called me weak.

I'll show you how strong this weak woman can be.
I'll Love you forever, and leave you be.

Unbreakable

Oh the feeling of victim turned victimizer.

From demonizing your victimizer, to demonizing yourself.

Switching roles in one night.

If not the victim, who might you be?

Quite thee identity crisis.

With newfound capabilities of victimizing who might you be?

Just as savage?

Just as weak?

Just as broken?

Broken broken broken 

Girl with a thing for broken boys

That broken boy, you broke that boy.

Why did you do that, you broken girl?

They say hurt people hurt people, well couldn't you have switched it up.

Swallowed your pain with out allowing another to sip from your cup?

Sat in solitude and awaited your healing...

Instead your soul beckoned him from the darkness 

and he emerged.

Beautifully draped in pain. Disguised as the perfect distraction. While he planted his seed in your womb.

That seed your womb grew.

Grew, grew, GROWN.

A man child.

The most handsome like his father, with a side of demon. Born from pain. Two humans wishing to escape.

I'm sorry.

Was I not a good enough escape for you?

Fuck you. You couldn't have spilled your seed elsewhere?

I took it. I held it. It grew it. I Loved it.

Love covers a multitude of sins. And thank God, for I have sinned greatly.

Oh the feeling of victim turned victimizer.

From demonizing your victimizer, to demonizing yourself.

Switching roles in one night.

If not the victim, who might you be?

With newfound capabilities of victimizing who might you be?

Just as savage?

Just as weak?

Just as broken?

Broken broken broken 

Girl with a thing for broken boys

That broken boy, you broke that boy.

Why did you do that you broken girl?

When will you forgive that broken boy?

When will you forgive that broken girl? 

When will you Love that brokenness that gave you the strength to Love unconditionally with the newfound knowledge that you are in fact 

unbreakable. 

messy masterpiece

I'm totally cool with shattering illusions about myself. I'm so far from perfection and its way to exhausting to pretend like I have it all together. The truth is I'm a mess, just like you.

Yeah you.

I have this ridiculous need to prove I am enough. Usually I'm just trying to convince myself.

"Sometimes your worst enemy is in your own skin, sometimes it shares your face and claims to Love you. That hateful voice is not Love- I promise you. There will come a day when your fight is bigger than your fear, when you nearly claw your way out of your body to prove you exist- leave that skin for someone else and design your own wings. You are masterpiece, magnificent your glory. Have you seen her? "

 - Natalie Patterson

Sometimes your worst enemy is in your own skin. 

Can you relate? Have you ever felt that? Have you felt no matter what you try to accomplish in your day there is that voice in the background of your mind discouraging you at every turn, telling you that you aren't enough, pointing out all your flaws, reminding you of all your past mistakes? 

I think we all have those truths that we are afraid to say out loud. Those ugly truths that we tuck away, that cause us to hold guilt and shame. That keep us bound to this false idea of ourselves. Illusions.

Illusions we cling so tight to.

As of late I've been inclined to let that shit go. 

Its not always easy.

Tonight was rough.

Tonight was SO necessary.

Tonight I released. 

I feel lighter, tonight.